Tension - Open or Safe?

OK. The last one is perhaps the most difficult one of all. Should a group be “open” to new people or “safe” for those who are already in the group?

If you’re already in a group, can you remember back to the time before you tried it? If you’re like most, you wondered what that was going to be like. “Will I be accepted by the group?” “Will this be a place where people are finally honest about their struggles as Christians?” “Will they be safe? Can I bare my soul, take off my mask and reveal the ugliness that I know is there? Will they shriek in horror, laugh mockingly, or chastise judgmentally?” It’s fears like these that truly keep people out of group life, not busy schedules. It’s fears like these that keep a lot of Christians, even pastors isolated, lonely, and relationally cold. And it’s not a fun (or good) place to be.

But for those who are willing to take a chance, eventually they find that place of safety and acceptance. It may not be in the first group they try, but eventually they find authentic Christian community. And like every other wonderful gift from God, the wickedness of our hearts compels us to lay hold of it greedily as though God had bestowed the blessing purely for our own enjoyment.

Meanwhile, there are those on the outside, desperate, hurting, lonely, accursed souls. You say that “accursed” is too strong? Really? Isn’t prolonged solitary confinement the most horrible torture experience? Isn’t our Christian faith “relationship” rather than “religion?” Doesn’t Scripture say that reconciliation with God inherently involves reconciliation with people? And isn’t it true that Scripture teaches that those who are isolated from authentic Christian community are subject to attack from our enemy?

Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present. When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord… God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.” 1 Corinthians 5:3-5, 13

And there’s the difficulty. Christian community must be safe, but Christian community must also be inclusive. If group life is a smaller picture of the church (which I believe wholeheartedly), then every group must be open to new people. “But our group is too big for our current space!” Looks like the Lord has blessed you with an opportunity to expand the influence of your wonderful group of believers, saints who truly understand the Christian experience. “What?!?! Divide our group?!?!?!?” Not divide, but multiply your influence!

Listen, I totally understand this. I have personally experienced it about a dozen times. You have a good thing and you don’t want to mess it up. I get it! But maybe you’re looking at it the wrong way. Maybe you’re holding on to something good, but not the very best that God has for you. Maybe you’re settling. Let me put it this way. Let’s suppose for a minute that you are considering putting down $100 on a bet that could pay off 3-to-1. (Wow! I’m going to get complaints over this analogy!) Now what if I told you that the game is rigged and you are guaranteed to win? That’s what you have here in group life. If you hold on desperately to what you have, you will never experience all that God has for you. And, worse yet, there is a multitude of people who are being excluded from what God has for them in group life because the ones He has blessed think it’s all about them.