Rumination

My small group has committed to reading through the New Testament together over an 8-week period. That’s a pretty good pace. Honestly, we have a difficult time keeping up with it at times. But we don’t beat each other up, simply encourage one another to not give up and to forge ahead. I’ll admit that it’s tough to set aside the time to read large chunks of Scripture. Additionally, we have been trained to eat God’s Word in small bites. That may be where I have the hardest time in this reading plan; when I read something that seems especially relevant to my life, I want to stop there and ruminate. (Look it up!)

That happened this morning. I was supposed to read 1 Corinthians 1-7. And eventually I did accomplish that task. However, I got stuck in Chapter 4.

Let me set the context. The situation in the Corinthian church was that the congregation was breaking down into factions. The point of the entire letter is to set forth the way that Gospel-centered community is supposed to look, over against what the Corinthians were creating. In Corinth, there were divisions in the church. We’re talking about more than cliques. These divisions were socio-economic and all about establishing superiority within the congregation. Men were lifting themselves up as leaders in the church and exercising privileges accordingly. And look at how Paul addresses this (I have noted key points to help you follow his argument):

So then, men ought to regard us as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the secret things of God. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. Now, brothers, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, "Do not go beyond what is written." Then you will not take pride in one man over against another. For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not? Already you have all you want! Already you have become rich! You have become kings-- and that without us! How I wish that you really had become kings so that we might be kings with you! For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like men condemned to die in the arena. We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to men. We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world. I am not writing this to shame you, but to warn you, as my dear children. 1 Corinthians 4:1-14

Can you catch what Paul is saying here? Christian leadership is about being a servant, dying for the sake of others. It’s not about lifting yourself up; it’s about being made low. Yet, it’s the sinful desire of our hearts to take the gifts that God has entrusted to us as a stewardship, gifts intended for His glory, and to glorify ourselves. But those who do have received their only reward here on earth.

Are you ready for a confession? I have been wondering if God has allowed the season that I’m experiencing in order to show me the threat of self-serving, self-aggrandizing, authoritarian leadership. I have been asking Him to reveal that in my own heart. I have been asking Him to shine His light of truth into the dark places, driving out darkness. And I have been asking for the grace to release pain (and judgment) to Him.

And, I’m also looking forward to all the ways in which He will be magnified in my brokenness. Otherwise, it’s truly all foolishness…