Brutalized

I promised to share with you the most significant portion of Bishop’s book for my life. It was the part that caught me quite by surprise. As I read thru each chapter, I thought, “Oh, I’m glad he put this in here.” Not that I know everything, but I have read a few hundred books, many on the topic of keeping the church of Jesus Christ faithful to her mission. However, when I got to the last section, titled “Remember Only God,” I was taken aback by the first chapter.

Bishop talks about the reality of suffering attack in our faith, especially for leaders. And, yes, he affirms the attacks we all expect from our enemy, Satan. But he goes on to share about the attacks that few Christians speak of, at least the ones you still find in the church. He brings up the very real issue of attacks from within the church itself.

First, there are a couple things which need to be established:

All attacks come from the kingdom of our enemy, even those from a brother or sister. You see, we are under the mistaken belief that Christians are fully sanctified. Sorry to burst your bubble, but the truth is that our righteousness is imputed to us. We are not righteous; we have been declared righteous because of Christ’s righteousness. The irony is that we all know this about ourselves. We know that we are sinful. That’s why we wear masks in Christian community, because we want to be sinless like everyone else, right? But the truth is that we are all a bunch of fakers. At best we are hiding sin so that we won’t be shunned, and at worst we are pretending to be better than others so we can feel justified before God in a relativistic way. “After all, I’m not as bad as him or her!” The point is that we have to come clean about our sin nature as a community of faith, and we need to expect that people are going to hurt us, yes, even intentionally.

And it must be stated here that everything that we call an attack is not. There is legitimate confrontation within the people of God. Just because someone gets in your face, calls you out, or even thwarts your efforts, it does not mean that person is serving the enemy and out to destroy you. We need to be honest in our assessment of every situation and take every opposition as an opportunity for self-examination. This is one of the hardest things to do, whether you are a believer or not. When opposed, our flesh kicks into high gear, we dig our heals in and prepare for war. Don’t believe me? Then you’re probably not married. However, if you are married, think about the last time you were confronted about a shortcoming. How did you handle it? Denial? Deflection? Rationalization? Outright counterattack? Listen, don’t automatically assume the worst motives in others, even when you feel threatened. That is the playground of our enemy.

OK, back to genuine attacks. I remember my mentor telling me, “If you’re a Leader, that means your back is wide open to friendly fire!” I know this truth from personal experience. And there is nothing more painful than betrayal. In fact, that is the one place where the Lord allows us to break the most intimate fellowship relationship, marriage. Infidelity is the worst possible betrayal, a violation of trust and a brutalization of your closest companion. And the Lord allows us to divorce under those circumstances. But He does this, not because it is what is best, but rather because of hardness in our own hearts (Mark 10:5). In fact, His story is that He continues to love us despite our infidelities!

So, what should you do when you have been betrayed, attacked, and brutalized? Well, the Sunday School answer says “Forgive!” OK, that’s nice. That just means that you are not going to seek retribution; you are leaving it in the hands of the Lord. Some of us need to really do that. Maybe we claim to have forgiven, but it’s clear that the wound still festers and is slowly consuming us. That’s related to another answer that comes from our flesh. Our flesh says, “Separate and be bitter, especially in thoughts about your attacker.” But, again, as I was taught by my mentor, that’s like drinking poison and hoping it kills your enemy. And our enemy says, “Attack your attacker’s reputation. Make him suffer like you have suffered. Destroy her relationally!” Hopefully, I don’t have to counter that position, only state it.

But what should we do? Well, look at Christ’s example. He was betrayed by those closest to Him. Of course, you’re thinking of Judas right now, maybe even thinking about the Judas in your own life. Instead, look at Peter. Christ even warned Peter that he would betray Him (Luke 22:34). But Christ did not cast Peter aside. In fact, John 21 contains the most amazing restoration story in Scripture! The one who had denied his Lord three times was restored to relationship and position in a three-fold affirmation and commissioning by the One betrayed. Why was Peter restored and Judas not? Certainly, Peter was weak while Judas was wicked. But the Jesus I know redeems even wicked men. My guess is that Judas was never restored because he chose the path of the enemy. He separated from the only One who could help him thru his failure. Rather than to trust in his Master and the Master’s gospel of peace, he fell into the enemy’s trap of isolation, guilt, despair, and self-destruction. And then, it’s too late for even Jesus to save.

You will be hurt by others. It’s what you do with that pain that has eternal implications.