Tension – Care or Discipleship?

This discussion follows closely on the previous one. People come to group with different expectations. Some are looking for teaching. You might hear these types saying things like, “I want this group to go deeper into the Word” or the more vague version “We’re looking for meat!” I sometimes wonder if the 1st century believers talked that way. They were already often accused of being cannibals because they “ate the flesh of their god.” Regardless, these people are looking for “discipleship” in their group time. However, there are others who need to experience what Christ claimed to offer His people, caring family-like community. They want and need a place of acceptance. Perhaps they are struggling with living in faithfulness. Often, they have experienced only the sham of Christian community, general friendliness that masks legalistic religion and dark, judgmental hearts.

This is actually a question pertaining to how we develop people. The people in our churches run the spectrum of spiritual maturity. And, if they are in our churches, they are also in our groups.
.

Clearly, group must be about both. From the previous discussion, biblical content is the foundational, defining truth for Christian living, but it is in the implementation of that truth that learning unto transformation happens. Therefore, a healthy group balances care and “discipleship” in their time together. I continued to put that word in quotes because I believe that what the “discipleship” group means by that word and a proper biblical understanding of its significance are not the same. You see, true discipleship happens in the tension between care and Bible study.

People who say they need to connect also need solid Bible teaching; they just need to be loved first. You will lose them if you don’t take the time to build authentic Christian relationship with them. And the people who are looking for more Bible content need to learn that being like Christ is their goal. Jesus told His disciples, “You are my friends if you do what I command” (John 15:14).

Not only are group members somewhere in this spectrum. Group leaders have a preferred area also. Low care, low “discipleship” leaders are Connectors, people who deal well with superficial contact and light content. Those who are better at building real relationship are Nurturers. They are very good at ministering to people in their pain and struggles. Leaders who are low in care but higher in biblical content are Teachers. And finally, leaders who can both teach and nurture are Shepherds. The goal of group life is to get everyone in the Shepherd category.

So, where are you on the spectrum? Can I be frank at the risk of offending? I hope that grace abounds and this will be seen as a challenge to grow, not as holier-than-thou or judgmental attitude. I honestly float through these areas myself depending on season of life…

Are you the Shepherd? You should be leading a group and discipling others. And when I say “discipling” I mean that you are intentionally connecting with people wherever they are on the spectrum and investing the time and energy to help them move to be Shepherds too. Remember that Jesus came, discipled, and left. A Good Shepherd knows when His work is finished.

Are you the Nurturer? Are you building people up so that they can be whole? What would it look like for the people in your care to not need your help anymore? Are you building dependence upon you or on the Lord? In the times of care, don’t lose sight of the Great Physician.

Are you the Teacher? Why are you happy with a cold, academic Christian faith? Is it easier for you to relate to facts than to people? What does your calendar look like? Do you deal with people according to a schedule or as needs arise? What does connection look like between group meetings? Does it scare you to actually enter into someone’s suffering? The Great Teacher did exactly that.

Are you the Connector? Connection is extremely important, but it’s all Meeting and no Moving. Develop a plan for you and your group to move into deeper relationship with each other and with our Lord. Are you the person looking to be connected? Take the step of faith and try group life. The plan that Jesus laid out for His church is a great one, even though implementation is usually a little disappointing. Take courage in the knowledge that none of us has this perfectly figured out and God is at the center of it all. In our weakness, His glory shines through. Our job is to persevere, continually striving hard after Him and everything that He commanded.

If you want to know how this works in group, hang on until we look at Task or Relationship.