Love Your Enemies

This weekend, Pastor Scott preached to us from the end of Matthew 5 about loving our enemies. This raises two great questions: “Why should I love my enemies?” and “How do I know if someone is really an enemy?”

“Why should I love my enemies?” To get the answer to this question, you need go no further than the passage from Matthew 5. Verses 44-45 state, “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” Jesus is saying, “Prove that you are truly adopted sons and daughters of your Father in heaven by being like Him. He loves and blesses all people whether they love Him or hate Him.” God does not love people based upon what they do, but rather according to who He is. People who love their own are understandable. Truly unexplainable love is love for those who are seeking to harm you. And that leads to the second question:
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“How do I know if someone is really an enemy?” This is the question I really wish to address in this post. Since we obviously love our friends and Jesus has now commanded us to love our enemies too, why didn’t Jesus just say, “Love everyone!” Well, in essence, He did. Jesus doesn’t see “love” in light of friend or foe. He loves both. For Him, the difference between those two categories is a discipleship issue. In John 15:15, Jesus says that He calls His disciples “friends” because He is instructing them in the plans and ways of the Father. They are His ministry partners and He is committed to helping them to grow as disciples. This is radically different than how we decide who is a friend and who is an enemy. We think that a friend is someone we have fun with and an enemy is someone who causes us to feel discomfort or pain. But that is decidedly unbiblical. Pain is not only unavoidable, but it is a necessary component for growth as a Christian. How else could you develop patience, long-suffering, and perseverance? But we don’t look at things through the eyes of faith, but from our flesh. When someone causes us pain, we quickly decide that she must really be an enemy. Once we have made the determination that she cannot be trusted, we can enter into the war against her or, our usual preference, we can begin to distance ourselves from her. But Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Generally, your enemy will use flattery to deceive you in order to destroy you. Notice that Scripture indicates that a friend will “wound” you, but you can trust that person. Why? Because she wants to help you grow. At the risk of smacking a hornet’s nest, I suggest that you consider a loving parent who spanks (don’t read “brutalizes”) an unruly child in order to correct and train. So, the proof is in the relationship. It’s not whether or not you feel pain, but the outcome (or intended outcome) of the painful experience which determines friend or foe.

So why the lengthy discussion? Because group life can get very uncomfortable at times. I’ll go one step further: Group life should get very uncomfortable at times. It is through the pain that we come to grips with the sin in our own lives and the inauthentic community within our gatherings. And, like the unruly child who is being corrected, we have a choice to make. Are we going to throw a tantrum and withdraw from community, from true friends, and from God, or are we going to respond in genuine brokenness and repentance and fall anew into loving, accepting, trustworthy arms which will gladly receive us and rejoice in our victory over sin?