What To Do With the Talker…

When a group first starts out, it usually takes a bit of time to get the conversation freely flowing. People need to get to know one another and become comfortable with the environment before they open up and share. How long this takes is dependent upon a number of variables and the leader of the group is generally the one who helps or hinders this process. People tend to share best when the leader models transparency, even vulnerability, for the group.

But sometimes, group members are ready to unload. Especially in our culture, people carry tremendous burdens for fear of rejection or judgment for sharing areas of their life that they are struggling with. Whether it’s a persistent temptation or a deep wound from the past, people struggle with their desire to find support and guidance in community and their anxiety over the reaction of those trusted. Group members who share quickly have determined that the benefit of sharing outweighs the risk involved. Sometimes, the disclosure is overwhelming; sometimes it’s even inappropriate.

Groups need to be aware of the struggle that the talker is dealing with and respond in an appropriate manner. Some will want to respond with God’s truth and others with His love. Both are needed! Love without truth leads to co-dependency. Truth without love usually tends to wound rather than to promote healing. These are Meeting and Moving opportunities and we need to minister like Christ to the person sharing such issues. Remember that the Lord’s harshest words were reserved for the self-righteous, not for the broken.

Sometimes, you’ll have the person who just loves to talk. Maybe it’s deep. Maybe it’s for attention. Again, the group, especially the leader, needs to allow time and space for this person to be heard, but also limit his/her time so that everyone has a chance to engage in group discussion. Often, one-on-one time outside group is necessary to explain to the over-talker that they need to be respectful of everyone’s need to be heard. When your group gets to the point of comfort and health, you can all begin to rejoice in the talker. Remember, it’s the talker who will usually help your group to reach out to others – after all, that means more people to hear him/her talk. :o)

Enjoy this clip. Often, they are just born talkers (no comments on gender!)…

Taste of Grace

Those of us who have put our faith and hope in Jesus, understand and value the grace of God in our lives. We know that the grace He has given to us is not because we deserve it, but because He loves us. Our God is a giver. He gave us His own Son. This is the reason that we are generous people – we are being made in the likeness of our Savior and He is a self-sacrificial giver.

But these are difficult economic times, both within the church and in our communities. People have lost savings, retirements, even jobs. Face it, we have experienced times of plenty in the past, but these are lean years for most and desperate times for many. And these are the times that the Lord has ordained and His message to His people remains unchanging…

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

So, what should be the response of the people of God to the tribulation in the world? We are to be like Jesus. How was/is Jesus? He loved people so much that He sacrificed everything to meet them right where they were, in their blindness, in their debility, in their poverty, in their depravity. And what did He do? He offered them a taste of the grace of God. So that is what we are going to do.

Taste of Grace is a food ministry that is beginning here at Grace Church this month. Through this program, we want to help people meet their need for nutritious food. This is an opportunity for us to put feet to our faith. For those in our church who are struggling, this ministry will help them feed their family. For those who have enough or even much, Taste of Grace provides opportunities to be better stewards of the blessings God has given. And for those who have no relationship with Grace Church, we have another way to show that we care because we are devoted to a God who cares.

Let me tell you about one CONNECT group that is already using this ministry opportunity. Our Lancaster group is having a Bake/Yard Sale this weekend. All of the proceeds are going toward buying food boxes for sharing in their area. Additionally, they are distributing fliers on the ministry to everyone who visits their event. They see Taste of Grace as a God-given opportunity to reach out with the Gospel of Grace to a hurting, desperate world.

Is this just about food? Of course not! It’s about rightly understanding that every person is made in the image of God, precious in His sight, and deserving of dignity. It’s about building relational bridges over which the gospel can be shared. It’s about meeting people wherever they are and using all that God has given us to help move them to where He wants them to be. It’s about Christ being formed in us. It’s about faithfulness.

For more information, visit the Taste of Grace web page (www.lgbc.org/TastofGrace.htm) or email to tasteofgrace@lgbc.org.

Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who trust in Him! Psalm 34:8

Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group (part four)

Today, we wrap up our look at Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group. Here are the Reasons #7 & #8:

7. You will deepen your understanding of worship.
Many believers mistakenly believe that worship can only happen on Sunday morning in a large group with a sermon, a choir, and an offering plate! Worship happens any time we focus on God. Sometimes that happens best in a smaller group by praying or singing together. Perhaps the most special time in a CONNECT group setting is when the members come together to share in the bread and the cup of Communion. Group helps you to become a full-time worshipper of God.

I shared earlier this week about the group that breaks out in song during their study time. I also know that our culture is very uncomfortable with that and I don't want to communicate that every group should worship this way. However, there are many ways to respond to God and any that acknowledge Him for who He has revealed Himself to be in Scrpture is considered an act of worship. So, where does worship happen in your life? Might you worship "better" if you have others in your life who encourage you to do that? You were made to worship God.

8. You will be a New Testament Christian!
The book of Acts is very clear about how God intends for His people to grow and have their needs met in the church. The responsibility of meeting the needs of the members of the church belongs to the church, not the hired staff. That is God’s design for His people. The role of the pastor is to equip the church for the work of the ministry (Eph. 4:12).

Consider these verses:

“They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Every day they continued to meet together... they broke bread in their homes and ate together... and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” Acts 2:42, 44, 46-47

“Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the Good News that Jesus is the Christ.” Acts 5:42

“Greet also the church that meets at their house.” Rom. 16:5

“Aquilla and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord and so does the church that meets at their house.” 1 Cor. 16: 19

“Give my greetings...to Nympha and the church in her house.” Col. 4: 15

Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group (part three)

We're continuing to look at Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group. Here are the Reasons #5 & #6:

5. You will have a natural way to share Christ with friends, neighbors, relatives, and work associates.
It may be that some of your friends who don’t know the Lord wouldn’t be caught dead in a church. They have preconceived ideas and just the thought of church makes them defensive. But those same people may be open to an invitation to a casual Bible discussion in a home. In a CONNECT group, your unbelieving friend can ask questions and express honest doubts without feeling put on the spot. When your friend sees the love and warmth and honesty within your group, it will make him more receptive to the Good News.

One group had a block party. I realize that doesn't sound like evangelism, but it's considered a "Level 1" event for evangelism. What happens at a Level 1 event? Well, you build relationships! This group decided that the gospel compels them to reach out to others. They also realized that the sense of community that had been lacking from their own lives was certainly shared by their neighbors. Within the group, God had placed "party planners," individuals who know how to host a great party. The group divided up the preparation and invitation responsibilities, prayed for the event and all of the neighbors who had been invited, and then partied! Was part of the plan to share the 4 Spiritual Laws with each person at the party? NO! Were they ready to look for opportunities to "turn" a conversation in a spiritual direction? YES! Were they going to force conversation that way? Certainly not. The purpose was to begin building relational bridges over which the gospel can be shared at another time. And they pulled this off because it was done as a group, dividing cost and responsibilities and encouraging one another to be faithful to the leading of the Lord. By the way, they experienced a tremendous turnout and the afternoon party didn't break up until nearly 10pm. When they were asked for the reason for the party, they simply explained that they were involved together in a small group and figured that they were lacking meaningful connection so they assumed that everyone else shared that condition. They were right. And now they can work toward meeting these families wherever they are and helping move them into a right relationship with God and others.

6. You will develop leadership skills you never knew you had!
The Bible teaches that every believer is given at least one spiritual gift to benefit others in the family of God. Unfortunately, most Christians remain Sunday morning spectators all their lives because large group meetings are primarily “sit and listen” situations. As you share and participate in a healthy CONNECT group environment, you’ll be exposed to opportunities to discover and to understand the gifts God has given to you. You’ll grow closer to one another and to God as you trade “doing church” for “being the church.” You’ll begin to live a life of significance.

Six months ago, if you had asked "Jim" if he was a leader, he would have said "No way!" In fact, that's exactly what he told me. But with training, encouragement, and coaching, he is a very successful CONNECT group leader today. His group has a great time together, experiencing meaningful study and discussion time, fantastic fellowship time (you can't go wrong when the group meets at Rita's!), and involvement in outreach in the community. And all of this in less than six months and from a guy who thought God couldn't use him to shepherd a small flock. Does that excite or frighten you?

Tomorrow, we wrap up the Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group

Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group (part two)

We're looking this week at Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group. Here are the Reasons #3 & #4:

3. Prayer will become more meaningful to you.
In community, we help one another understand that we can do nothing of significance apart from God. Face it, we need to learn how to pray and be encouraged to be at it continually. Many people are self-conscious about praying aloud in community. Maybe that’s because others pray to impress those around them. In a healthy CONNECT group, both of these types of people are helped as those who have a more developed prayer life encourage the more timid members to start small and pray conversationally. The Lord wants His people to come before His throne of grace in praise, thanksgiving, confession, and request; a praying group is a beautiful thing in His eyes.


4. You will be able to handle stress and pressure better.
CONNECT groups provide excellent support in times of crisis, change, and stress. You’ll have a sense of stability and security knowing there are people who really care for you and are committed to standing with you. CONNECT Ministry is not about care and support, but they are a natural product of love and loving God and others is exactly what CONNECT is about! When someone loses a job, or a family member has an extended illness, or a mother needs a babysitter – these are all practical needs that will be naturally taken care of through your CONNECT group. Already, dozens of people in our church could testify that they would not have made it through a difficult time if it hadn’t been for the support of their group.

Check back tomorrow for #5 & #6.

Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group (part one)

We're looking this week at Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group. Here are the Reasons #1 & #2:

1. You will understand the Bible better in a small group.
There are many different learning styles. Some learn best by reading, others by doing. Some prefer hearing, and still others desire a discussion or even debate. The truth is that we learn best when these different approaches are all at work. Have you ever listened to a Bible teacher or preacher and wanted to stop that person and say, “But what about...?” or “I don’t understand”? That’s because, in order to truly learn, to be transformed by the content that is presented, you need to engage the information and then act upon it. In a small group setting, you can ask questions, participate in a discussion of the text, and hear others share insights and illustrations of the truth which you are trying to grasp. Finally, a group of believers if far more likely to act upon God’s instruction than an individual; somebody is bound to rise up as the encourager who will move the group to action. The purpose of Bible study is to produce life transformation, and that happens best in a CONNECT group.

One of our groups, spurred to action by the Acts study, Session 5: Devoted to the Word, began daily reading of the Word with email interaction. Read the reaction of one member to this group exercise:

You know I probably have read these chapters before But I will say that I feel like I am reading new stuff that I have never heard before. I guess that is an admission of sorts that I really don't delve deeply into The Word very much. This has been very good for me and I'm pumped that we decided to do this. I do have to admit that this is hard me, I've never been someone to really sit and ponder on a passage. I like to grab one thing out of the scripture and apply that to my life. I am enjoying hearing what you guys are saying regarding each chapter, it has definitely been a blessing and a highlight of my day. Pray for a spirit of receptiveness, that I hear all that God says through these chapters.

2. You will begin to really feel like you’re part of God’s family.
Most people who have been a part of a CONNECT group say the greatest benefit is the close relationships and friendships that develop. They will frequently call each other during the week to share urgent prayer requests or exciting news. You’ll discover that your needs and problems are not unique – we’re all in the same boat. It helps to know that others are facing the same difficulties, or have lived through them and learned spiritual principles in the process. God describes the church as His family and asks us to carry one another’s burdens. Hopefully you were at church during Vision Month when one of our group leaders shared his story. He has been a believer in Christ for decades and part of Grace church for years. However, because of his experience in a CONNECT group, he is wondering why he had been settling for something far less than God has planned for all of His children. We’re created for community!
More tomorrow....

Why CONNECT in Groups?

Why should we have a CONNECT (Small Groups) Ministry at Grace Church? Well, if you're already in one of our 29 groups, you probably have a few reasons that you continue in group. This week, I am going to do something a little different - I am going to post daily rather than weekly to this space. Primarily, I am doing that for your sake. I could post the reasons to be in a group in a single post, but I'd rather dish it out in smaller portions so you can stop reading about it and get out in the world and start doing it! So, here we go...

Over 50 times in the New Testament the phrase “one another” is used to indicate the interdependent relationships which should characterize the people of God. Most of these are found in the imperative mood: they are commands. We are told to love one another, encourage one another, pray for one another, accept one another, bear one another’s burdens, and build up one another. Think about it for a minute... How would you fulfill Ephesians 5:19 in your Sunday School class, "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs"? People would think that you had lost you mind! But I know of one of our CONNECT groups where exactly that happens. Should the study lead them to a truth illustrated in a traditional hymn, one of the members will break out in song. Most times the rest will join in. How about living in light of Hebrews 10:24? "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." How does that work apart from meaningful relationship? As you bump into someone you barely know in the foyer, you can say, "Hey (because you can't remember his name), you should serve in the Children's Ministry!" Rather, how about you have been in a group with a guy for several weeks or months and you mention to him one day, "Have you ever thought of being part of the Water Street Outreach? The reason I ask is that I know they need a worship leader on Monday nights and you do such a fantastic job of leading our group worship time. It's like we're following you right into the very presence of God." The only way you can obey these commands is in intimate community.

While some might seek to find these relationships within their biological family, Christ’s desire was that this communion would be found among people of radically divergent backgrounds, so that the world would look at their unity and know that it was produced supernaturally by God Himself. His prayer for the church included, "May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me" (John 17:23). Our faith is intended to be worked out in community. There is no such thing as a "Lone Ranger" Christian.

So, let's take the next few days to look at Eight Reasons to Join a CONNECT Group

Choose for Yourselves Today Whom You Will Serve

I've been looking into content for our fall study series and I came across this video for a classic Bob Dylan song. He hits the point I was looking for... Choose sides: Satan or the Lord.

Tell me what you think...



Click for lyrics to song.

More Than Evangelism

The question was asked: What one event shaped you for this current role as Pastor of Connections more than any other (apart from your salvation story)?

I was a brand new Christian. I had prayed a prayer asking Jesus to forgive my sins and be the Lord over my life. Since I was in a Southern Baptist church, I was baptized – I was told that it was my first act of obedience and my first opportunity to witness to my belief in the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. I began participating in a small group and, thru that group, served in the Baptism Ministry of the church. I was reading my Bible every day, talking to God thru prayer, and listening to preachers on the radio during my commute. The message I was hearing was that I needed to share my faith with others and, Lord willing, lead them to put their trust in Christ. Oh yes, and they had to get very wet!

About 8 months into my new life, I had the opportunity to share Christ with my neighbor, Eric. Eric was 6’ 6” and about 280 lbs. He looked like one of the guys on WWF, but not just in size. I once watched him pile-driver his 200 lbs. brother, Daniel into the sidewalk, splitting his head on the concrete. Eric was a big, scary guy! But that October morning, I could tell something was bugging him and I told Shawna that we might be a little late for our appointment, as I walked across the street to talk with my neighbor.

Eric was in a bad place. His wife had just left him, taking their young daughter with her. I used the circumstances of his life to lead him toward the Lord. He prayed to receive Christ as I shook in fear that it would all go terribly wrong and I’d have story in common with Daniel. But it went very well, and Eric was baptized 2 months later at our church. He even began sporadic attendance. I felt pretty good about my involvement in his redemption.

Two years later, on Halloween Day, Eric showed up at my front door. He had moved away shortly after his baptism, although I knew he was still in the area. I invited him into our living room and then regretted that decision. He was telling crazy tales of being tormented by dark spirits. He showed me how he repeatedly drove them away by using his roofing hatchet to split a rock as he commanded them to leave in the name of Jesus. I guess it made sense to use the hatchet since he was in the midst of a re-roofing project on his home. Again, I was frightened of this huge man, now not only for myself but also for my wife and young daughters who were home. I managed to get him out of our house, and Shawna and I prayed for him. That evening, as we were driving home from a Harvest Party at the girls’ school, we heard on the radio that a crazy axe-wielding man who broke into a home had been shot to death. I told Shawna that I just knew it was Eric.

Eric had broken into the home of his father-in-law, the place where his estranged wife and daughter were living. He was trying to get his daughter to drink something that would “protect her from the dark spirits.” The news stories never said what the liquid was – I believe it was harmless or else they would have shared that information. The girl’s grandfather came at Eric with a shotgun and Eric defended himself by attacking the man with the hatchet. As he wrestled with him, the boyfriend of Eric’s wife grabbed the gun and shot Eric the death in front of his 9-year-old daughter.

That incident began my journey to discover what the church and our salvation is about. I had been taught that Christ died for me. While that is certainly true, it wasn’t the whole story. The Bible says that Christ died for the church (Eph. 5:25). It is clear that Paul’s understanding of the church goes well beyond the sum of all those who are redeemed. The church is an entity and it is created by God from all those who are chosen, whom He builds together into “a holy temple… a dwelling of God in the Spirit” (Eph. 2:21-22). I came to understand that God is interested in so much more than redeeming individual sinners. Christ said, “I will build My church” (Matt. 16:18). Yes, Eric needed a Savior; Eric needed Jesus. But Eric also needed a family to care for him and to help him grow in the faith. Eric needed the church!

Certainly, I see small groups when I read the New Testament accounts of the church. The 1st century church was a house church movement for a few hundred years. But that simply describes how those saints lived out their calling in their historical context. Groups are not prescribed by God. However, Christian community is God’s desire, and Christ’s church in this country settles for far less than His will. I believe that the best way to live out our calling now is in small communities of faith. In a large church gathering where you know of or about someone is not where you find people spurring one another on toward love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24) and carrying one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2). It’s only thru intimate relationship, true koinonia, that you can do these things which Christ commands of His church. Tell me… How can you fulfill “Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” (Eph. 5:19) apart from meaningful relationship? You’ll be disregarded as a fool!

CS Lewis suggested that it is our duty as Christ followers to carry the “weight of glory” of our brothers and sisters as a willing burden. I carry the burden of Eric’s story. It was not my fault, but it was my responsibility, even more now that I have grown in my understanding of this beautiful creation of the Lord, His bride, the church. You see, God made us for relationship, with Him and with one another. And it was the dying request of Jesus our Lord that the world would look at our Christian community and understand the love that the Father has for the Son and for His church (John 17:23). Christ died for the church. Shouldn’t we live for her?